You've heard it before, and in no uncertain terms. "Couples [families] who pray together stay together." We heard it over and over too: before we met, after we were a couple, before we were married, after we were married. But for some odd reason, it took us almost four years to convince of stubborn hearts of the benefits of praying together as a couple.
When we were engaged, a good friend gave us a gift that included a little notebook. When she gave me the gift, she told me that the prayer journal was not optional (Props to JJ Davenport). She said we have to use it. Even then, I knew she was right. And I think we both had the best of intentions. Though we weren't praying daily throughout our time dating or even our time as an engaged couple, we thought when we were finally married we would carve out the time to do it. Listen, people. Getting married does not change who you are and it is just as unlikely to change your prayer habits! Though we have always planned to implement this into our relationship and our family life, we put it off and put it off!
This past August, God led us to Choctaw, AR. In doing so, we were given the opportunity to turn over a new leaf and to start over fresh and new. Ironically, the church had a mindset to do the same! So, as we traveled five hours from Alabama (Roll Tide!) to Arkansas, we began talking about some of the habits we have failed to incorporate into our relationship/family. Prayer came up as one of the biggest failures. Though we have prayed individually, we have not prayed together as a couple with the exception of praying before meals. So, we made the decision that beginning our first night in our new Arkansas home, we would each pray - out loud, together - before we went to sleep. And we would do this every night before we went to sleep.
I wish I could list all of the ways that this has changed us, improved our relationship, and revealed the power that is unleashed through prayer. But that would be impossible. Our first night in the new house was Wednesday night, July 30th. And in less than a month, we have been overwhelmed with the result. In marriage, God allows couples to enjoy intimacy with another human that is only a glimpse to what we have with Him. But I am convinced that there is nothing more intimate than praying together as a couple. And the other areas of intimacy that you enjoy will be vastly improved by prayer together. Having the opportunity to hear one another's hearts approach the throne of God is an opportunity that you cannot neglect. Don't misunderstand me. We've had a great marriage for the duration of these 3.5+ years. But there is so much more that can be enjoyed. The benefits that you will reap from incorporating this into your relationship will blow your mind.
Whether you are a single person pursuing a spouse, a dating couple, an engaged couple, a newly married couple, or a couple that has been married for 40+ years, please hear me out. If you have not made it a habit to listen to one another pray to God daily, you need to make it a priority to begin this habit. Don't make the mistake we made of putting it off. The longer you put it off, the harder it will become to start. The very first time we did it was - to be blunt - awkward. But by the third night, it was incredibly comfortable. And our love for one another has increased exponentially (and I didn't think that was possible!).
So, why is it such a big deal? Though an exhaustive list is impossible, I've selected five reasons why praying together as a couple is the most important thing you will ever do as a couple.
1) Accountability -
Though we all have the best of intentions, we all struggle in our individual prayer life. If this is you, one immediate benefit of praying together as a couple is that you hold each other accountable. Moreover, beginning to pray together as a couple will - in my experience - increase your individual prayer life. You can't possibly list, verbally, everything on your heart in your prayer time as a couple. But you can pray individually about those things during the times in between. In my experience, I have begun to pray even more as an individual.
2) Relationship -
If you claim that you like each other every moment of every day in your marriage, not many people are going to actually believe you. But something amazing about praying together is that it makes it nearly impossible to be mad at each other. If there is any hint of hostility or tension between you as a couple, it's pretty hard to approach God's throne together with that going on between you. Moreover, praying together provides an excellent venue for your spouse to hear you - to hear your heart - as you ask God to forgive you for failing your spouse. Hearing what is really going on in your spouse's soul makes you more compassionate, empathetic, and forgiving towards each other. And hearing each other pray will - without a doubt - make you love each other more. You get a daily glimpse into the soul of the person you love most. It is a good reminder of why you chose each other in the first place!
3) Scripture -
It goes without saying that God wants to hear from His kids. In 1 Thessalonians 5, we learn that He wants us to pray without ceasing. In other words, our hearts and minds should always be in a "prayer posture." Our idle thoughts should always be directed towards God and open to His will for our lives. Moreover, Scripture teaches that prayer changes things (Matthew 7; James 5). If you want to see the power of God in this world, prayer is one sure way to make that happen!
4) God's Presence -
Do you want God to be present in your family? Praying together as a couple will open the doors of your home and invite Him in. We have sensed God's presence in our family at a much deeper level than ever before. His love never fails and never gives up and we know that without a doubt. There are so many things we have heard each other express before Him and He never fails to hear us and respond. (Disclaimer: His response will always be His will, not yours. And you have to be surrendered to that!)
5) Opportunity-
One of our best couple friends living in Georgia (shoutout to Jim and Nancy Kerr) keeps a running prayer list. Since we met this sweet couple, they have always reminded us that we are on their prayer list. They pray daily as a couple and we know - without a doubt - that they are praying for us. Praying as a couple gives you the opportunity to let people know they are on your list. It gives you the opportunity to model a Godly relationship before a lost a dying world ... and even before the Christian world that has failed to incorporate this into their families. Don't let this opportunity pass you by! It will make a difference in the lives of the people around you. We have prayed daily for Dr. Kent Brantley since day 1. Though we know who some of his family is, he doesn't know us from Adam. But we know without a doubt that we were a part of his healing and recovery from Ebola because we prayed for him together.
Is this something that you have done together as a couple, too? If so, leave your comments and let me know how this has impacted your relationship with each other, your walk with God, and your life. Tell me your story!
