Because This is What Love Is...

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is."

-St. Augustine

The divorce rate in America is large and growing. Divorce for first marriage is 41%, second marriage is 60%, and third marriage is 73%.

I do not claim to know much of anything about marriage, especially since I've not quite been married for two months yet. But I have learned a few things that I'd like to share.

First, marriage was founded by God. Because marriage was founded by God, He intends it to be a certain way. God gave Eve to Adam to be his "help-meet." And from that day until now, His intention has been "one man, one woman; for life."

The trouble is, the Beatles had it wrong when they said "All You Need Is Love." And America has bought into the notion that they were right.

Love is a loaded word, with a lot of different meanings.

People are getting divorced because "I just don't love ____ anymore."

Guess what? You're not always going to be in love! It comes and goes. God didn't intend for marriage to be a bed of roses all of the time.

St. Augustine had it right when he said that "love is like an earthquake that subsides...and when it subsides, you have to DECIDE..."

No matter how much we try not to let it, we are all influenced greatly by the culture we live in.(And I hate our culture in a lot of ways, for more reasons than I care to get into right now). And this one is a very self-centered one. This culture seeks to gratify self. It seeks instant gratification. It expects everything to come easy for #1 (self), and if something is not easy, IT MUST BE FIXED IMMEDIATELY.

But guess what? LIFE ALWAYS ISN'T EASY. It's not always perfect. God wants us to be "joyful in the LORD," but we are not meant to be defined by our shallow happiness.

When the feelings subside, you have to make a decision. Moms, if you don't "feel" like fixing your child's lunch, do you let your child go hungry? In a normal circumstance, I would assume you would absolutely not. You would fix their lunch because they need it, even though you don't really want to.

In the same way, your spouse is today the same person you fell in love with so long ago. The same good-willed soul that you said "I do" to. If you don't "feel" like loving or "feel" like respecting your spouse, you have to choose to do it anyway. Be mature.

It won't always be easy. No one promised that. But it's worth making the decision. Marriage is full of many blessings. And the more trials you come through together, the closer you come out in the end, even if you don't like each other very much during the process. But we can "count it all joy, when we face trials of various kinds..." (James 1). We can know that God is doing something in us and through us to become more like His Son, and to ultimately bring glory to Him.

Let's do what we can to stop this epidemic. Let's be mature.

Let's CHOOSE.