A Common Misconception: What Makes a Christian Lukewarm?

The Lukewarm Christian. We all know this person, right? When I was a teenager, I thought I knew what it meant to be lukewarm. I knew that after things like Maywood and CYC, I was "on fire" for God. And I made the assumption that being "on fire" meant I was where I needed to be. And if I wasn't "on fire"(which was generally the case) I must have been either cold or lukewarm. This resulted in me feeling guilty the majority of the time. Because, to be honest, those mountain-top spiritual experiences that occurred during Maywood, CYC, and other things just didn't last as long as I would have liked for them to.

The verse says:
"I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."
Revelation 3:15-16

As I have matured, I have begun to realize that I had a very real misconception about what it actually means to be a lukewarm Christian. Being married allows me to realize so much more about my relationship with God. I can better understand why Christians are called the "bride of Christ" now than at any other time before.

Many people have misunderstandings of love. "Falling in love" is an amazing experience, but it's only the tip of the iceberg. Falling in love is, mainly, a huge rush of emotions. I think when I first became a Christian, these mountain-top experiences caused me to "fall in love" with God, and all I felt was a huge rush of emotions.

After the emotions wore off in my relationship with Matt, I soon realized that there was a lot more to love than I thought. Love in its purest form is not about emotions. It is about choices. and it is when the emotions wear off in a relationship that the rubber really meets the road. This is when it's not always easy to choose the loving thing. And sometimes we fail. But we have to constantly work at making the choice to love, despite how we feel or what we want. We have to learn to be selfless, making choices that will show the other person that we love them, even when we don't always feel like it.

This piece of information can transform a marriage relationship. And understanding this has helped me to have a better understanding of being a Christian. I've realized that those mountain-tops that I used to experience were just the beginning. I was in a whirlwind of emotions as I learned about God and fell in love with Him. But now, as I mature in my relationship with Him, the emotions have all but worn off. At first, I was afraid. Because I have believed that being "on fire" was to be on an emotional, spiritual mountain-top. And I've been afraid that maybe I was lukewarm, or even cold.

However, I am beginning to realize that my relationship with God is not so different from my relationship with Matt. Now that I've fallen in love with God, the emotions are wearing off. And now I get to experience love in its purest form: love as a choice. In the same way that I choose to make loving choices for Matt, even when I don't feel like it, I am learning to choose to make loving choices for God, even when I don't feel like it. I am going to fail at times. But I think being a "hot" Christian means that we strive make every choice with God in mind. We think about how our choices are going to feel to God. Will they make Him feel loved? Or neglected? Or disappointed? We can't be perfect. But if we can consider God when we make choices and make loving choices for Him, I think we will be where we need to be: Christians who are "hot." I think a "hot" Christian is best defined as one who strives to make every choice with God in mind, making those choices that show God that we love him. I think a "lukewarm" Christian is best defined as someone who just doesn't consider God when they make choices. And a "cold" Christian is best defined as someone who doesn't even care how their choices will make God feel.

I am not cold or lukewarm just because I am not on a mountain-top. If I am making choices that show God that I love Him, I am a "hot" Christian. It is our choices that define whether or not we are lukewarm. Whereas I use to think it was about emotions, that is absolutely not true. It is about our choices.

So what do your choices say about your Christianity? Based on these definitions of "hot," "cold," and "lukewarm," where do you stand? Don't feel guilty just because you are not always on a "spiritual high." I love my husband. But just because the emotions are not always there does not mean that I don't really love him.It's the same way with God.

Spiritual maturity is much deeper than how we feel in the moment. It is about learning to focus on making the right choices-the choices that express our deep love for our Heavenly Father.

Because This is What Love Is...

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is."

-St. Augustine

The divorce rate in America is large and growing. Divorce for first marriage is 41%, second marriage is 60%, and third marriage is 73%.

I do not claim to know much of anything about marriage, especially since I've not quite been married for two months yet. But I have learned a few things that I'd like to share.

First, marriage was founded by God. Because marriage was founded by God, He intends it to be a certain way. God gave Eve to Adam to be his "help-meet." And from that day until now, His intention has been "one man, one woman; for life."

The trouble is, the Beatles had it wrong when they said "All You Need Is Love." And America has bought into the notion that they were right.

Love is a loaded word, with a lot of different meanings.

People are getting divorced because "I just don't love ____ anymore."

Guess what? You're not always going to be in love! It comes and goes. God didn't intend for marriage to be a bed of roses all of the time.

St. Augustine had it right when he said that "love is like an earthquake that subsides...and when it subsides, you have to DECIDE..."

No matter how much we try not to let it, we are all influenced greatly by the culture we live in.(And I hate our culture in a lot of ways, for more reasons than I care to get into right now). And this one is a very self-centered one. This culture seeks to gratify self. It seeks instant gratification. It expects everything to come easy for #1 (self), and if something is not easy, IT MUST BE FIXED IMMEDIATELY.

But guess what? LIFE ALWAYS ISN'T EASY. It's not always perfect. God wants us to be "joyful in the LORD," but we are not meant to be defined by our shallow happiness.

When the feelings subside, you have to make a decision. Moms, if you don't "feel" like fixing your child's lunch, do you let your child go hungry? In a normal circumstance, I would assume you would absolutely not. You would fix their lunch because they need it, even though you don't really want to.

In the same way, your spouse is today the same person you fell in love with so long ago. The same good-willed soul that you said "I do" to. If you don't "feel" like loving or "feel" like respecting your spouse, you have to choose to do it anyway. Be mature.

It won't always be easy. No one promised that. But it's worth making the decision. Marriage is full of many blessings. And the more trials you come through together, the closer you come out in the end, even if you don't like each other very much during the process. But we can "count it all joy, when we face trials of various kinds..." (James 1). We can know that God is doing something in us and through us to become more like His Son, and to ultimately bring glory to Him.

Let's do what we can to stop this epidemic. Let's be mature.

Let's CHOOSE.