The Minister and the Local Church

Unfaithfulness. It's not a word that anyone likes to hear. For me, the word conjures thoughts of loneliness, pain, bitterness, tears, anger, and numerous other negative emotions. But what happens when unfaithfulness occurs in the minister's relationship to the local church?

Don't worry. I'm not going where you may think I am. This is not a blog about when ministers are caught in sexual scandals. It's not that at all. I'm talking about when the minister is unfaithful to the congregation, or when the congregation is unfaithful to the minister.

But how?

The relationship between a minister's family and the church is comparable to a dating relationship. When one party is always living in the past, thinking about their "ex" or looking ahead to the next one that comes along, the current one gets the shaft. How wonderful ministry would be if Christians all appreciated the preacher that they currently have, not living in the past, not looking to who the next guy will be.

When it comes to the "dating relationship" between the minister's family and the congregation, I think both are often found guilty of not being in a "committed relationship."

It's so easy for the minister's family to remember a church they were with before, how they did things this way, how they were "better" than the current church in that way. It is also easy for the minister's family to fall into the trap of thinking only about the next "relationship." It becomes easy to simply wait for something "better" to come along. And it's even easier to fall into this trap when the minister's family feels tired, taken for granted, and unappreciated.

On the other hand, it is so easy for the congregation to compare their current preacher's family to their favorite one from the past. In this case, that family from the past is brought up in regular conversation. The current preacher's "style" is compared to the preacher from the past. The congregation can also be guilty of looking ahead to the next preacher that comes along. They don't enjoy the current one, and are always thinking of possibilities for the next one.

When either party--the minister's family or the congregation--is guilty of being uncommitted, "unfaithful," if you will, the result is not a desirable one. The minister's family becomes restless, disappointed, and sometimes even bitter or resentful. The congregation is so busy worrying about "what's wrong with the preacher" that they aren't cooperating and accomplishing the REAL ministry that needs to be happening.

In a marriage, this is comparable to what might be called the "crazy cycle." When one party in the relationship feels undesirable, unappreciated, disrespected, and/or unloved, the other party feels it and reacts in a similar way. However, when one in the party is committed and the other party feels it, the other party is more likely to respond in positive ways.

The point is: The elders, the congregation, and the minister SHOULD be on the same team. If anyone in the relationship is uncommitted, the relationship does not succeed. And if it isn't worked out, ultimately "divorce" is what happens.

Challenge to ministers: Be committed and faithful to the relationship you are in with the church you work with. Be loyal to the church you are with, not missing the one you used to be at, not constantly looking ahead to a church where the "grass is greener."

Challenge to Christians: Be committed and faithful to the relationship you are in with your preacher. Appreciate your preacher. Every sermon is full of hard work, long hours, and pieces of his heart. Don't take him for granted. Don't compare him to "past relationships." Don't anticipate how much better the next one will be. Instead, appreciate him for who he is.

1% of Churches in America are Growing

In one of the classes I am taking, I heard some statistics that shocked me. Did you know that of the churches in America (denominations included) only 15% are growing? And 14% of those 15% are only swelling? Swelling just means that the growth is from people who are “church-hopping” and from growth in numbers due to births, as opposed to growth due to actual evangelism and saving of lost souls. Only 1% of churches are TRULY growing. Not dying. Not swelling. But growing. Just 1%. I knew that it had to be pretty low. But I just didn’t realize that it was really THAT bad!

I don’t understand it. I am led to ask so many questions by these startling statistics. For one, I wonder, are we REALLY Christians? I mean, if we really were, wouldn’t we be UNABLE to keep from telling other people about Christ? Wouldn’t our lives be changed to such a degree that others wanted to know how they could get what we’ve got?

These statistics are very eye-opening. Christians have become entirely too comfortable. We’ve gotten so comfortable, in fact, that we have fallen into a very deep and dangerous sleep. One that, in too many cases, is becoming a permanent sleep. Christians are, without even realizing it, dying.

If we don’t wake up now, what is going to happen?

It looks to me like the only thing that will wake up Christians in America is going to have to be total loss of religious freedom and is going to require real persecution. Because think about it. Christians have already begun to lose some freedoms. Prayers are not allowed in schools. It’s no longer “politically correct” to say “Merry Christmas,” but instead we should say “Happy Holidays.” And these are only the tip of the iceberg.

Still, Christians are asleep.

What will it take?

When I referred to real persecution a minute ago, I didn't mean that your friends point fingers and laugh. I didn't mean that you don't get invited to a party because you are a Christian. What I meant was torturing and killing of Christians. Will it take the literal killing of Christians? I’m afraid if we don’t wake up soon, that’s exactly where America is heading. And at first, it’s scary. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if that’s not EXACTLY what we need to happen. Maybe then Christianity won’t just be a fad or a social scene anymore. Maybe then, the “nominal Christians” will finally stop destroying the name of Christ and doing more damage than they are good, and the true Christians will finally step up. Maybe persecution is what we need to finally wake us up. And I’m becoming convinced that the church is going to be able to do more at that point than it could even begin to do in the situation we are in now. Because right now, only 1% is actually growing. And while I haven’t done the research to know this for sure, my guess would be that the majority of that 1% probably doesn’t have a “Church of Christ” sign out front. In fact, my guess is that the majority of those are probably community churches.

Come on Christians. Where are you? WAKE UP! Don’t you realize what is happening? Do you even care? Do you really love Christ like you claim to? Going to church 3 hours a week and hearing the Bible doesn’t make you a Christian. And it doesn’t make you an evangelist. It makes you nothing more than a hearer. And James 1:22—25 says “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."

Stop deceiving yourself into thinking that if you go to a church building for 3 hours a week and listen to someone talk about spiritual things makes you a Christian. And stop deceiving yourself into thinking that inviting someone else to do that same thing is evangelism. If that’s what you think, you are in for a rude awakening.

Just some food for thought. Only 1% of Churches in America are actually growing. Chew on it, and if you are serious about Christianity, maybe you’ll actually begin to do something about it.


(DISCLAIMER: I think I sounded “preachy” at times here. I am not talking only to “you.” I am pointing the finger at myself just as much. Because I absolutely have been guilty of these things as well.)