ANNOUNCEMENT: I'VE MOVED!

ANNOUNCEMENT- 

I have moved my blog! After much deliberation and hesitation, I have made the switch to Wordpress -and happily so. I love the look and ease and feel of my new Wordpress. I transferred all of my blog posts and articles from here to there and have since posted several new articles in Wordpress. If you would like to follow me there, I would be happy to have you.

The link for my new page is:
http://hannahmburleson.wordpress.com

I will leave this announcement up for a little while to give everyone time to see and after that I will be de-activating the blogger account.

Thanks!

The Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do As a Couple

You've heard it before, and in no uncertain terms. "Couples [families] who pray together stay together." We heard it over and over too: before we met, after we were a couple, before we were married, after we were married. But for some odd reason, it took us almost four years to convince of stubborn hearts of the benefits of praying together as a couple.

When we were engaged, a good friend gave us a gift that included a little notebook. When she gave me the gift, she told me that the prayer journal was not optional (Props to JJ Davenport). She said we have to use it. Even then, I knew she was right. And I think we both had the best of intentions. Though we weren't praying daily throughout our time dating or even our time as an engaged couple, we thought when we were finally married we would carve out the time to do it. Listen, people. Getting married does not change who you are and it is just as unlikely to change your prayer habits! Though we have always planned to implement this into our relationship and our family life, we put it off and put it off!

This past August, God led us to Choctaw, AR. In doing so, we were given the opportunity to turn over a new leaf and to start over fresh and new. Ironically, the church had a mindset to do the same! So, as we traveled five hours from Alabama (Roll Tide!) to Arkansas, we began talking about some of the habits we have failed to incorporate into our relationship/family. Prayer came up as one of the biggest failures. Though we have prayed individually, we have not prayed together as a couple with the exception of praying before meals. So, we made the decision that beginning our first night in our new Arkansas home, we would each pray - out loud, together - before we went to sleep. And we would do this every night before we went to sleep.

I wish I could list all of the ways that this has changed us, improved our relationship, and revealed the power that is unleashed through prayer. But that would be impossible. Our first night in the new house was Wednesday night, July 30th. And in less than a month, we have been overwhelmed with the result. In marriage, God allows couples to enjoy intimacy with another human that is only a glimpse to what we have with Him. But I am convinced that there is nothing more intimate than praying together as a couple. And the other areas of intimacy that you enjoy will be vastly improved by prayer together. Having the opportunity to hear one another's hearts approach the throne of God is an opportunity that you cannot neglect. Don't misunderstand me. We've had a great marriage for the duration of these 3.5+ years. But there is so much more that can be enjoyed. The benefits that you will reap from incorporating this into your relationship will blow your mind.

Whether you are a single person pursuing a spouse, a dating couple, an engaged couple, a newly married couple, or a couple that has been married for 40+ years, please hear me out. If you have not made it a habit to listen to one another pray to God daily, you need to make it a priority to begin this habit. Don't make the mistake we made of putting it off. The longer you put it off, the harder it will become to start. The very first time we did it was - to be blunt - awkward. But by the third night, it was incredibly comfortable. And our love for one another has increased exponentially (and I didn't think that was possible!).

So, why is it such a big deal? Though an exhaustive list is impossible, I've selected five reasons why praying together as a couple is the most important thing you will ever do as a couple.

1) Accountability -
Though we all have the best of intentions, we all struggle in our individual prayer life. If this is you, one immediate benefit of praying together as a couple is that you hold each other accountable. Moreover, beginning to pray together as a couple will - in my experience - increase your individual prayer life. You can't possibly list, verbally, everything on your heart in your prayer time as a couple. But you can pray individually about those things during the times in between. In my experience, I have begun to pray even more as an individual.

2) Relationship -
If you claim that you like each other every moment of every day in your marriage, not many people are going to actually believe you. But something amazing about praying together is that it makes it nearly impossible to be mad at each other. If there is any hint of hostility or tension between you as a couple, it's pretty hard to approach God's throne together with that going on between you. Moreover, praying together provides an excellent venue for your spouse to hear you - to hear your heart - as you ask God to forgive you for failing your spouse. Hearing what is really going on in your spouse's soul makes you more compassionate, empathetic, and forgiving towards each other. And hearing each other pray will - without a doubt - make you love each other more. You get a daily glimpse into the soul of the person you love most. It is a good reminder of why you chose each other in the first place!

3) Scripture -
It goes without saying that God wants to hear from His kids. In 1 Thessalonians 5, we learn that He wants us to pray without ceasing. In other words, our hearts and minds should always be in a "prayer posture." Our idle thoughts should always be directed towards God and open to His will for our lives. Moreover, Scripture teaches that prayer changes things (Matthew 7; James 5). If you want to see the power of God in this world, prayer is one sure way to make that happen!

4) God's Presence -
Do you want God to be present in your family? Praying together as a couple will open the doors of your home and invite Him in. We have sensed God's presence in our family at a much deeper level than ever before. His love never fails and never gives up and we know that without a doubt. There are so many things we have heard each other express before Him and He never fails to hear us and respond. (Disclaimer: His response will always be His will, not yours. And you have to be surrendered to that!)

5) Opportunity-
One of our best couple friends living in Georgia (shoutout to Jim and Nancy Kerr) keeps a running prayer list. Since we met this sweet couple, they have always reminded us that we are on their prayer list. They pray daily as a couple and we know - without a doubt - that they are praying for us. Praying as a couple gives you the opportunity to let people know they are on your list. It gives you the opportunity to model a Godly relationship before a lost a dying world ... and even before the Christian world that has failed to incorporate this into their families. Don't let this opportunity pass you by! It will make a difference in the lives of the people around you. We have prayed daily for Dr. Kent Brantley since day 1. Though we know who some of his family is, he doesn't know us from Adam. But we know without a doubt that we were a part of his healing and recovery from Ebola because we prayed for him together.

Is this something that you have done together as a couple, too? If so, leave your comments and let me know how this has impacted your relationship with each other, your walk with God, and your life. Tell me your story!

Why the Break?

I have been rather absent from my little blogging world for several months now. That has been true for a number of reasons. God took us on a long, difficult journey. A "wandering" in the wilderness, to refer back to the Exodus. We left Egypt with no one to rely on but God and thanks to His guidance and faithful provision of manna, we survived. He led us to the Promised Land! But throughout that journey, my faith was really tested. Like those stinking Israelites, there were times when the manna just wasn't satisfying. I wanted more. I wanted something different. And sometimes I even thought that it would be better if we went back to Egypt! It goes without saying that my relationship with God was a real struggle. I failed to open myself up to His word and I failed to go to Him with my struggles and heartaches, multiple times. Since this blog mainly revolves around topics related to faith, spirituality, and Christianity, I was generally very uninspired and hostile towards those topics. Moreover, I started graduate school last Fall and between graduate school, work, and church obligations it became quite the juggling act to balance everything.

As I said, we finally left the wilderness. We were so blessed in August to find the church we have been praying for for a long time. In addition, I am incredibly thankful that this move has also made it possible for me to focus exclusively on going to grad school, full-time. Although I remain quite busy with all of the assignments and readings, not to mention all of the things I do to minister with my husband, I think I will have a little more time spend on "fun writing." I have reached a place of finally being at peace with God and am praying that He will provide the inspiration I need to be His tool and mouthpiece for His kingdom.

All of that said, I plan on getting moving in my blog once again. I love to write. God has given me that passion and ability and I would be failing Him to neglect it. He has given me specific passions that I believe are leading me to my calling. As a result, my blog will probably begin to morph a little bit. Where I have typically focused exclusively on topics related to faith, I may begin to incorporate some of my thoughts as a Counseling student. Moreover, God has stirred my heart with a deep passion for pregnancy, childbirth, and particularly natural women's health options (hormone-free methods of birth control, low/no-intervention labors, etc). As I study Counseling, I am incorporating that passion with hopes of preparing myself to help women in these areas, including those who may have experienced pregnancy loss to miscarriage/stillbirth, postpartum depression, PTSD due to traumatic childbirth, and a world of other issues that women are dealing with in connection with pregnancy, childbirth, and even infertility struggles. Some of these passions may be making their way into my writing here as I ponder these topics and attempt to grow in my ability to help those that God has called me to be Jesus to.

I apologize for the long absence, but I look forward to picking up where I left off as I share my journey with you.

My Journey Toward Thankfulness

It has been an interesting year. I will spare the gory details, but the honest truth is that I have had to work a whole lot harder at finding reasons to be thankful throughout this year. It's been much easier to give in to my fleshly attitudes of sarcasm, cynicism, and selfishness given our present trials. However, there are many blessings for which to be thankful, even when being tried by fire.

I have a God who loves me as I am, but obviously too much to leave me here. He is answering prayers of the past by "doing whatever it takes" to "make me more like Christ" … "even if it hurts." Despite my frail and faltering faith, He won't give up on me. He gives me chance after chance to respond to Him with the faith and trust that He is waiting to see in me. Thank you, God.

I have a loving, Godly husband who keeps me grounded and challenges me spiritually (he even makes me laugh from time to time!) and despite the true wretch that I am, he sees someone worth loving in me. Thank you, Matt.

I have a job working for/with people who love the Lord - a true blessing in today's world. Thank you, David, Miranda, and Stepping Stone staff.

I have the opportunity to further my education by studying counseling and integrating my passion for al things childbirth-related with what I am studying. In the process of studying things that I love, I am challenged to grow as an individual in every realm: physical, spiritual, emotional, etc. Thank you, HST - staff, professors, and colleagues.

I have family and friends who are real. They are the kind who stick with us even when life is at its messiest. They love us with their words and with their actions. They allow God to use them to bless us. Thank You, You Know Who You Are.

I have a precious kitty-cat. She is an incredible little creature who plays with me when I need a laugh and loves on me when I have had a rough day. She is truly therapeutic. She knows when something is wrong and expresses her concern by her actions towards me. She lets me know that she cares and that her love and care for me is unconditional! And when all else fails, she just sits there and looks cute and improves my day by just being there with me. (This part may be a little over-the-top for non-cat people … but I know my cat-loving friends will totally relate!) Thank you, Galilee.

The truth is, even when times are tough, there are really too many blessings to count. I could go on and talk about everything from role models, to physical health, to easy access to technology, to modern conveniences for which we should all be thankful. Yes, these are challenging times. But the Lord provides in infinite ways. His provision might not always come in the form I was hoping for, but when He sends manna, who am I to demand something more? He is my God, and I am not His god. And for that, I am eternally thankful!

I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. Because in both good times and bad, we live lives of luxury and abundance. It is only our selfish demands for "more" that blind us to this truth. Count your blessings, you probably have more than you realized. And at the end of the day, I think sometimes it takes living a more simplified life for our eyes to be opened to the blessings that truly surround us. We live in times where anything we want or need is available to us in the blink of an eye. And most of us have the financial resources to make any of it happen. This "blessing" may truly be a curse in disguise. Materialism casts its spell on many of us (did you notice I said "us"?) and has the potential to turn wonderful, God-fearing people into ungrateful monsters. So in this season of thankfulness, consider being more generous. With Christmas on the horizon, we are entering one of the most selfish, materialistic seasons of the year (yes, I just said that). Consider giving away more than you buy and counting your blessings even when Thanksgiving is over. It truly is more blessed to give than to receive, and I bet it makes God smile a whole lot more!

I Surrender … Some?

The last thing I should be doing is recreational writing (I have a research paper due soon!), but when the urge hits, sometimes you just have to surrender. Speaking of surrender … that is something I've been having a lot of trouble with lately. In fact, it's the very thing I felt compelled to write about.

We humans can be pretty stubborn. And selfish. And ungrateful. I'm talking about myself, here. I've always heard people make comments like, "I have been trying to take control in my life … I need to give it to God … I need to trust Him and let Him be in control." Maybe I was in denial, but I always thought that was a weird comment. I never really had trouble letting God take the stage in my own life. At least not until my innocent, naive ways were taken over by my adult, sinful self.

The thing is, life hasn't been a bed of roses lately. In fact, it's been a lot more like taking a bath in manure on a nasty, hot, humid day. (And I don't know anyone - except maybe my dad ;) - that thinks their manure smells like a bed of roses.) And in my stubbornness, I've tried to be the God of God. Maybe not intentionally, but when it comes down to it, that's the truth of what I've been doing. Things haven't been going so great. And instead of surrendering (there's that word again!), I've tried to take control of the entire thing. I've been SO stubborn that I haven't even had the decency and humility to pray! I have continuously expected God to just do exactly what I want Him to do. And when He doesn't, I became angrier and angrier with Him. And the more angry I become, the more cynical and ungrateful my spirit becomes. As though He wasn't the King of the universe. As though my baptism was a claim that I was the Lord of me and He wasn't. As though He doesn't know far more what is best for me than I do. Hmmm. My way is sounding less and less great now. And when I really think about it, my pure ignorance is pretty embarrassing.

Sometimes living in the flesh can be pretty rough. I mean, as baptized believers, we do have the Holy Spirit as our Helper. But sometimes I really feel like there are two me's inside of me.  It's like the fleshly me is holding the spiritual me hostage. There's just something about that fleshly part inside that does NOT want to let go. No matter how much the Lord relentlessly pursues me  through His word and His people, that fleshly part just wants to hang on with all her might. As though letting go would mean death. But then … maybe it would? Letting go would, indeed, mean putting more of my sinful self to death. But that's good, right? Yet that stinking flesh holds on with so much vigor. The spiritual battle is real. I know who wins the war, but I have to improvise here in this battle. It's pretty easy for anyone to surrender some. But we are called to surrender all.

I think the longer we live, the more difficult surrender can become for us. It's like there is so much in this fleshly world to hold on to that it becomes immensely difficult to truly let go. It reminds me of the rich man who asked Jesus, "Lord, I've kept every commandment. What now?" And Jesus told him, "Go and sell all of your possessions and follow me." Although this present circumstance may or may not have to do with riches, the principle holds true for all. There is that part inside of us that just wants to hold on. And as long as that part holds on, we have not truly surrendered. As Christians, we've already said we will follow Him. But the real question then becomes, how far? How devoted will we be? What are we willing to lose for Him? Will we give it all up? Will we let Him take us over? Will we give Him our whole selves? Our whole bodies? Or will there always be two me's living inside of us?

Sometimes I wish I could just talk to Jesus in a live, physical, in-this-moment conversation. All of this spiritual stuff just seems so intangible most of the time, and something I could touch and see would be great, don't you think? But then I am reminded of His conversations with His apostles. When He was telling them that His departure was near, He promised that He would send a Comforter and Helper that would be even greater than having Him there physically: the Holy Spirit. And we have that same Spirit with us. The same power that raised Christ on the third day is the same power to which we have access. When we fully surrender all to Him, we, too, can be resurrected … with more of our fleshly selves put to death. With each death to self comes a resurrection in which we are raised look more like Him. It doesn't happen over night. It is a process that happens over a lifetime, called sanctification.

Redemption comes for those who have surrendered and died. We can't expect resurrection to happen without certain death to self.

Will you surrender all? Will I surrender all?

Are You a Transitional Person?

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a commonly known phenomenon where what is expected to happen ends up being what happens. In other words, a strong belief about a person (though it may actually be false) will influence/alter that person's actions so that the prediction comes true.

An easy to understand example: a teenager's parents are overly controlling of him because they are convinced that if he goes out, he will drink. Realistically, the teen has never had any interest in drinking. He just wants to enjoy a night bowling with some buddies. But every time he wants to go out, his parents talk about how they don't want him to drink. They vocalize the expectation that this is what he will do if they give him too much freedom. As a result, he eventually ends up in trouble with alcohol. It could be speculated that his parents created a self-fulfilling prophecy that altered his actions.

We can think of numerous examples of these self-fulfilling prophecies. We have all seen them. But I want to draw attention to a form they take that I was not previously aware of. My attention was drawn to this during one of my graduate classes.

"If your parent was an alcoholic, you will probably grow up to be an alcoholic."

"If your parents are divorced, you will probably get a divorce."

"If your parents abused drugs, you will probably abuse drugs."

How often have you heard these kinds of statements? The meanings of these statements have been misunderstood by a large part of the population. So often, these statements have been interpreted to mean that the majority of the children from dysfunctional families grow up to have dysfunctional families of their own. This could not be further from the truth! 

The statements would be more accurately stated like this:

"Children of alcoholics have a greater likelihood of becoming alcoholic."

"Children with divorces parents have a greater likelihood of becoming divorced."

"Children whose parents abused drugs have a greater likelihood of abusing drugs."

Indeed, coming from a dysfunctional family creates the possibility of children who will continue that dysfunctional cycle. There is a greater likelihood. However, the majority of children from dysfunctional homes do not do what their parents did. 

In light of this information, I began to ponder: how many children who actually end up perpetuating their parents' dysfunction do so only because people expected them to? In other words, the misunderstanding of the above information creates a self-fulfilling prophecy that alters the actions and outcomes of the children. They somehow think that this was they life that they were meant to live and they really have little choice in the matter. 

But there is another concept I want to introduce to the discussion, and that is the concept of a transitional person. A transitional person is a person who breaks a dysfunctional cycle within a family and creates a new, healthy legacy for their family and future generations.

The point is, people who come from dysfunctional backgrounds do not have to live a life of dysfunction. 

Now, I want to intertwine the concept of a transitional person with what we understand to be a Christian.

Christ offers His grace and salvation to everyone. From every background. Even the most dysfunctional ones. And within that gift of salvation, he also imparts the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit, through whom Christians receive the transformative power to become sanctified and holy. To stand apart. To break away from dysfunction and live a life that emulates Christ's. 

No matter what background you come from or how messed up it is/was, you have a choice. And that choice is yours. It's yours alone. You cannot blame anyone for the choice you make. It is your choice and your life. But you have an option. Through Christ, you can become a transitional person. In other words, you can become a Christian. And the best part about it is, part of becoming a Christian means that you can teach others how to achieve the same thing.

This is what God calls us to be. A Christian stands out from the world as a transitional person who breaks the dysfunctional patterns of the world and call others to a higher standard of living: a life of self-denial.

"...I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." - Jesus (John 10:10)

Even to the Point of ... Death?

Sometimes, life stinks. In your zeal and loyalty to God, you make the decision to be bold and stay committed to Him, no matter where that takes you. The popular belief is that your zeal, commitment, and faithfulness will take you down a path full of blessings – easy and comfortable. But the truth is, sometimes God calls us to follow Him – even to the point of death. In other words, we remain true to Him, no matter the consequence. Those consequences are often good. Following God and choosing His righteousness is, without a doubt, going to result in the best possible life a Christian can have in this fallen world. But more often than we care to admit, remaining faithful to God and living righteously results in negative consequences. Otherwise, why would John have written his words in Revelation: “…be faithful unto death …”? Sometimes being faithful to God means that, in this physical world, we lose. Maybe it means you lose your friends. Or it could mean you lose your fancy car. Maybe it means you lose your much too luxurious home or a portion of the clothes that, let’s be honest, you have too much of. It might mean you lose a portion of your savings because lost souls are a little bit more important than your own financial security. Or maybe God will require you to lose your job. Or, and this one is radical, what if following Him literally means losing your life? The fact is, following Christ to the cross doesn’t mean you will have every physical gain. It often means that you will lose something in the here in now. That’s why in his letter to the Philippians, Paul said “For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

Accepting this truth and committing to follow Him no matter the loss is not easy for anyone. After all, in America we have become accustomed to enjoying our big fancy church buildings, hip fun church trips, trendy “Christian” messages, all while climbing the social ladder and enjoying our American dream. We are not accustomed to losing much of anything for the sake of Christ.

When you realize that His higher calling means you must lose something, you have two choices. You can commit to follow Him all the way or you can make the easier decision of following Him “except for fill in the blank.” (And in case you’re wondering, the latter choice means you’re actually not following Him. And if you’re not following Him, it’s not hard to guess who you are following.)

For those who commit to the higher calling, let me warn you. It won’t be easy. You see, you will commit to following Him no matter what. And when the rubber meets the road, with the Spirit’s help, you will boldly stand for Him. And when it results in losing, no matter what that may mean in your life, you will feel like you are on top of the world. You know that you lost something significant to you. But you know that God required it of you. And that knowledge will sustain you for a while. But in the time that follows, guess who is going to come knocking at your door? You guessed it. The Deceiver himself. He isn’t too crazy about this radical decision you’ve just made. And it bothers him even more that you feel good about it. So he is going to make your life a living Hell for the next few days.

In those days, you’ll hear his voice. It will sounds something like this:

“Isn’t this humiliating?”

“It wasn’t really worth it, was it?”

“Are you sure God really delivered you?”

“You’re just being self-righteous. Trying to make yourself a hero.”

“You did that for God. But where is He now?”

“God doesn’t really care what you did or lost on His behalf.”

“Are you sure He’s really there, anyway? Where is He now?”

“If God is really there, what kind of God is He? You lose all of this for Him and He doesn’t even deliver?”

The consequences of what you have lost and the significance of those losses will begin to play out and you will start to need God’s deliverance more than ever before. You’ll probably begin to feel pretty lonely. It will seem like God is so distant and Satan’s lies will begin to make a lot of sense in your head. You’ll feel yourself becoming angry with God. And Psalm 88 will become your battle cry:

“God, you’re my last chance of the day. I spend the night on my knees before you. Put me on your salvation agenda; take notes on the trouble I’m in.
I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell. I’m written off as a lost cause, one more statistic, a hopeless case. Abandoned as already dead, one more body in a stack of corpses, And not so much as a gravestone—I’m a black hole in oblivion. You’ve dropped me into a bottomless pit, sunk me in a pitch-black abyss. I’m battered senseless by your rage,
relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger.
You turned my friends against me,
made me horrible to them.
I’m caught in a maze and can’t find my way out,
blinded by tears of pain and frustration. I call to you, God; all day I call. I wring my hands, I plead for help. Are the dead a live audience for your miracles? Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you? Does your love make any difference in a graveyard? Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell? Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark, your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory? I’m standing my ground, God, shouting for help, at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak.
Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear?
Why do you make yourself scarce?
For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting; I’ve taken the worst you can hand out, and I’ve had it.
Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life; I’m bleeding, black-and-blue.
You’ve attacked me fiercely from every side,
raining down blows till I’m nearly dead.
You made lover and neighbor alike dump me; the only friend I have left is Darkness.”

Psalm 88 (The Message)

Somehow, God expects us to blindly follow Him, no matter the loss. And what happens after that in the here in now might be good or it might be bad. But He has promised that when we follow Him even to death, the result in eternity is far better than anything we can possibly imagine. And no matter where things go in the here and now, we have to hold on to that one single promise. Because without the hope contained in that promise, it is impossible to go on following Him with such blind, bull-in-a-china-shop faith.